Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A tipping rant

(My brother sent this to me. I could not have said it better myself, so let's just pretend I did.)
Here's something that drives me crazy...

My date and I have just had a lovely meal. The bill is presented, neatly tucked in one of those leather folders. Let's say the bill totals $58.50. If I'm paying with cash, I might place a hundred dollar bill inside the folder, and set it near the edge of the table. The server comes by, picks up the folder, and asks, "Do you need change?"

I'm sorry, it's not your job to determine what kind of tipper I am. It's your job to make the f***ing change and let me decide whether or not I'm going to leave you 70%.

Sorry for the salty language. Enjoy your meal.


  1. How about when the hostess says, "Just one?". I usually look around me and then show her my laptop and say something about writers block and new environments. I was thinking of some other creative ways to answer this question, any ideas?

    Pami xo
    AKA- The Lonely Diner

  2. I recommend you say something helpful like, "Yes, since my husband's suicide, it's just lonesome ol' me." Then flash a frumpy suvivor's-guilt smile and follow her to your table in the back by the kitchen.

    Or maybe, "Well, I do have Stage Four Schezophrenia, but we usually share a meal, if that's okay."

    If you can muster it, the single most appropriate reponse would be to begin weeping and then curl up on the floor in front of the hostess station in a fetal position. I bet you get a nice, secluded table if you do that...


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